[She pushes on, changing to text halfway through what Esther has to say so she doesn't start to stammer.]

I wanted to apologize to people I'd harmed. A real apology, not a desperate last act in hope of forgiveness. That's what meant the most when I look back. I cared enough about other people that they liked me instead of tolerated my presence. I want her back, even if she's based on lies. She was easier to be, even if the last me was more interesting, and I don't think I can be her again.

And strength isn't enough reason to trust.