Thirteenth little lie ♰ That was the phrase she used to describe to her son of the fun she had had

[beingdifferent]

[Due to the death toll, the overwhelming effect it has had on her, Esther is reluctant to show her pale face. The pain is excruciating, occasionally sending her into spasms and crying fits, but she resolves to fight her way through it. She will not let pain defeat her, she never has. She will tolerate it.

The people badmouthing the port, or refusing to admit it even exists, however - that she cannot abide. The Risen Empire had been virtually perfect, and she cannot imagine a better world to live in; it's one place she's ever visited where she could have survived, been accepted, succeeded, and she can't help but take it personally. Even the death toll doesn't diminish her love for it. Her voice is cracked, still strained, but the conviction and thrill in it shines through.]

That was beautiful. It was worth every second.

[Private to Rorschach]
Are you well? [Because she most definitely is not. It's evident in the croak and strain her voice has taken on. Speaking the message hurts far more than she anticipated and she settles back in for a rest. Come to your inmate, Ror, if you can.]

[Private to the Emperor]
Thank you.

Comments

inmate filter because he remembered he's avoiding his warden :|

[this_corrosion]

Yeah? Who were you?

inmate filter

[beingdifferent]

Someone important.

inmate filter

[this_corrosion]

I'd never been to space before. Well, I've been here, but that's not the same as this.

inmate filter

[beingdifferent]

Neither had I!

inmate filter

[this_corrosion]

You sound a little under the weather. Didn't get your head cut off, did you? Think it's going around.

inmate filter

[beingdifferent]

Something like that.

inmate filter

[this_corrosion]

Rough way to go. Need anything?

[private, text]

[heisrisen]

[He doesn't respond immediately; he's tolling, for one, and crushed for another. But a day or so after the message he stirs himself enough to reply.]

I'm sorry I couldn't bring you there in truth.

[And he is; he is sorry for failure. He didn't make the attempt on anyone else's behalf, but he loves his worlds, and he responds sincerely to her appreciation of them.]

[private, text]

[beingdifferent]

I'm only sorry we couldn't have stayed.

[It may not have been for her, but she received it like a gift nonetheless and misses it already. She could have belonged at Home. That's enough to make it precious to her.]

[private, text]

[heisrisen]

That was my intent.

[If he'd done things differently, they might be there now. But she doesn't want to listen to him berate himself for failure. Anyway, it's undignified. For whatever that's worth.]

It's real, you know. Not just a barge dream.

[private, text]

[beingdifferent]

I'm sorry it didn't work out that way.

[She doesn't blame him in the least. Every time the Barge heads into agreeable waters, someone comes along and puts a "heroic" stop to it; it's not his fault, it's just another part of the unfairness that is the Barge.]

Will you tell me about it?

[private, text]

[heisrisen]

How much do you remember?

Re: [private, text]

[beingdifferent]

All of it, although I knew only a part of it.

There, I worked under a senator.

[fireincarnate]

[Jean's smiling, but it's a bit sad. Esther shouldn't have needed another world to be happy in.]

You could go there, you know, when you graduate.

[beingdifferent]

Do you think I can?

[fireincarnate]

[Her smile deepens, a little, and her tone is warmly confident.] I do.

[beingdifferent]

I don't have to go back where I came from?

[fireincarnate]

No, you don't. You choose where you want to go.

[beingdifferent]

I didn't know that.

[persecutioncomplex]

I would have stayed. [She doesn't care who knows it, either.]

[beingdifferent]

So would I.

You were famous there?

[persecutioncomplex]

I was. I didn't enjoy it the first time, but this time I do. I know what I've been missing.

[beingdifferent]

It was a beautiful place. There were so many opportunities.

You were famous before?

[persecutioncomplex]

For weaving lies.

You could be who you really wanted there, though. [The "you" is specific in this case; Touko's other self was content in who she was, but she's never longed to be that woman the way she can tell Esther needs to have been really grown.]

[beingdifferent]

Everyone who is famous weaves lies. Everyone does.

[A moment of hesitation and Esther speaks again, composed and cool.] Yes. It was a good place.