beingdifferent | Seventeenth little lie ♰ I got no one left to mourn for me

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[These last few weeks have been grey and listless for Esther, and today is no different. Still debilitatingly self-conscious, she saves her showers for the strangest possible hours, waking at three A.M. to bathe; she keeps her head down during the dinner shift and follows orders directly; she haunts the art room, both painting pieces (these are skilled, furious, sexual, distinctly adult, with nothing childish at all about them) and playing the piano (she has been perfecting her Rachmaninoff obsessively); and wandering through the gardens or hanging around the door to the CES hoping for access.

She hopes for solitude, but many hopes don't pan out.]

[Private to Lydia]
[After the pairing is announced Esther briefly reviews Lydia's posts to the network and steels herself, slipping back into, if not a childlike role, at least a gentle one. There isn't a real point to denying her age with Lydia, though she still presents herself with an infantile appearance; she knows or she doesn't know, and Esther is not worried about either option. When she contacts her new temporary warden, she's sure to be demure and agreeable, making a neutral observation.]

Your name is Lydia? That's very pretty. I'm Esther; pleased to meet you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pose? No thanks. I take whatever shape I want at the moment. Or whatever is useful.

Is that one so useful? You could easily have gotten my attention walking on two legs.

[A slight head tilt.]

Is that a request?

You certainly don't look as silly like that.

You think snakes are silly?

Are you going to bite me if I say yes?

That would be counter intuitive, as I'm currently a constrictor.

To strangle me, then? [There aren't many snakes in either Estonia or Connecticut.]

You're very preoccupied with the idea that I'm going to hurt you. Did you ever think maybe I'm just curious about your opinion?

[She scoffs in disbelief, laying her hands on her lap.] My opinion on what?

At the moment, on snakes. I asked you if you thought they were silly.

I prefer you as a human.

[It only takes a second, and she gets her wish. He lounges in top of the piano irreverently.]

Still doesn't answer my question though.

[She is used to his shifting enough not to blink when he changes. She does hesitate for a moment to take in the nightclub-like air of the situation, him on top of the piano and her sitting at the keys.]

They're not silly so much as impractical. I don't care for them.

Am I going to be jumping through verbal hoops every time I ask you a question, Esther? Just so I'm prepared.

[He certainly doesn't sound like he's complaining. He's just enjoying the banter.]

You won't if you manage a decent reason I should trust you. Leaving my room after pinning me doesn't count.

And what about this time?

You could tell me what you'd do if you got me on your side.

What I'd do? Well I'm looking for a way out of this place. I'd certainly use your help with that.

Best of luck with that. Escaping hasn't worked for anyone since I came on board.

I'm not the giving up sort.

Seventeenth little lie ♰ I got no one left to mourn for me

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