Esther Coleman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beingdifferent) wrote2014-05-30 07:55 pm
beingdifferent) wrote2014-05-30 07:55 pm
Seventeenth little lie ♰ I got no one left to mourn for me
[Open spam]
[These last few weeks have been grey and listless for Esther, and today is no different. Still debilitatingly self-conscious, she saves her showers for the strangest possible hours, waking at three A.M. to bathe; she keeps her head down during the dinner shift and follows orders directly; she haunts the art room, both painting pieces (these are skilled, furious, sexual, distinctly adult, with nothing childish at all about them) and playing the piano (she has been perfecting her Rachmaninoff obsessively); and wandering through the gardens or hanging around the door to the CES hoping for access.
She hopes for solitude, but many hopes don't pan out.]
[Private to Lydia]
[After the pairing is announced Esther briefly reviews Lydia's posts to the network and steels herself, slipping back into, if not a childlike role, at least a gentle one. There isn't a real point to denying her age with Lydia, though she still presents herself with an infantile appearance; she knows or she doesn't know, and Esther is not worried about either option. When she contacts her new temporary warden, she's sure to be demure and agreeable, making a neutral observation.]
Your name is Lydia? That's very pretty. I'm Esther; pleased to meet you.
[These last few weeks have been grey and listless for Esther, and today is no different. Still debilitatingly self-conscious, she saves her showers for the strangest possible hours, waking at three A.M. to bathe; she keeps her head down during the dinner shift and follows orders directly; she haunts the art room, both painting pieces (these are skilled, furious, sexual, distinctly adult, with nothing childish at all about them) and playing the piano (she has been perfecting her Rachmaninoff obsessively); and wandering through the gardens or hanging around the door to the CES hoping for access.
She hopes for solitude, but many hopes don't pan out.]
[Private to Lydia]
[After the pairing is announced Esther briefly reviews Lydia's posts to the network and steels herself, slipping back into, if not a childlike role, at least a gentle one. There isn't a real point to denying her age with Lydia, though she still presents herself with an infantile appearance; she knows or she doesn't know, and Esther is not worried about either option. When she contacts her new temporary warden, she's sure to be demure and agreeable, making a neutral observation.]
Your name is Lydia? That's very pretty. I'm Esther; pleased to meet you.
[Private]
[And sometimes the drawings turn out to be messages she's getting as a banshee, so she is very careful to keep an eye out for those. But her focus is Esther, not herself.]
We have time, we definitely don't have to talk about it today. Is there something in particular you'd like to talk about?
[Private]
Maybe. Will you tell me about where you're from?
[Private]
Sure. I'm from Beacon Hills, in California. It's a pretty small town close to San Francisco. I've lived there my whole life.
[Private]
[Private]
Where are you from?
[Private]
[Private]
How did you like those places?
[Private]
[Private]
What do you think they lacked?
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
Do you have any idea how I might find that?
[Private]
For me, it took me going through a lot of changes to realize I could and should be my real self around the people I trust, so they could really see me. Then they became my family.
[The right word would be pack, but that's easier to explain. Pack definitely means more than family to her these days.]